What a twit!

One of my hobbies is baking and cooking. I was taught how from being a little girl by my grandmother. She was a crazy woman. She had shelves in her kitchen which consisted of two bricks covered in wallpaper with a plank on top. Her work top was a dresser with a drawer directly under the top bit which was for some reason stuck -never to be opened, but slightly ajar at the same time. I remember breaking an egg for a cake and the egg slipped into the drawer as if by magic. I didn't say anything - I just got another egg out :) She wouldn't have minded at all; she was so easy going.

I always baked on Sundays at home, After Church we would have Sunday lunch, and then the kitchen would be cleared for the 'afternoon bake'.

I would make bread, scones and cakes for Sunday tea. I loved doing it and I suppose I liked it even more because I was good at it, and my father used to tell me how good the food was, and also how bad!

At Christmas I always got the job of making the Christmas cake. He would buy the ingredients and I would do the rest.

One Christmas I made a cake in the evening and it went into the oven very late. At something like 1 am we made the decision to remove the half baked cake from the oven and carry on baking it next morning. It turned out beautifully despite the unorthodox treatment.

Tonight I have done something similar. I have put together a chocolate fruit cake and it is due to come out of the oven at 2am, so I am sitting here remembering past Christmases, and that unmistakable smell of the cake in the oven. It reminds me of 'home', and 'family'.

What will you be doing this Christmas?

I will be cooking for my brood, and then after we have eaten, I will drag one or more of them out for a walk with our dogs. Just chillin',and enjoying each other's company.
This will be one of those times when I have all three of them together in the house at the same time, and we will all eat together, and raise a glass to us - to our little family unit.
Just me and the kids x

So here I am waiting for this cake. I look across into my lounge where the puppy has been systematically destroying the ornaments from the tree one by one. There is another one in bits all over the floor now. There is also a dodgy looking mark on the carpet where the little bugger has had a surreptitious wee.......

As I sit and wait I am enjoying a glass of Bailey's.. Boy am I getting in the festive mood early!

Night !

Exactly WHAT is it that you are looking for?

Whatever it is that you do, how ever it is that you do it, or like to think you will do it, with who so ever you choose to do it with, it's YOUR choice.

Whatever you want to get out of anything you do, you have to put something of your own self into it, or the experience will not be yours, it will be the doing and the imagination of someone else... won't it?
With regard to a specific visit to a working girl, if you are lazy and expect someone else to do all of the work - I suggest you do not visit me

That old adage "you pays your money you takes your choice is all well and good when you visit a parlour and choose a random girl and pay for a 20-30 minute service.
Of course I am generalising here. Lots of men prefer to visit parlours because of time and money constraints. If you happen to know which girl you want to see because you know what she will do is another matter, but with parlours, it is generally a quick service and you are back onto the street and can get on with your day, not having been missed by anyone.

For some men this is the only way they will punt. They have a limit to their own input. The less they give, the better they can handle it in their own head - less interaction with the girl equals less guilt. Less 'buyers remorse' if you like.

Some men just like the variety. They enjoy the parlour visit,and like I said, the more you put in, the more you can expect to receive, but like anything else you pay for what you get.
It's all relative really :)

A visit to me is different. You have specifically chosen me for starters. You have set time aside. You have planned it. You are having a treat!
I do not want to get you in and out as quickly as possible. That is not what I am about. I do not want to waste your time either on long languorous booking where you wine and dine me, but then that is down to my lifestyle and my desire for total privacy.

So... what I have done is fine tuning my way of working within my own self inflicted constraints.

Why do I charge more than some other girls? It is my prerogative to do this. I am not over priced, but I am certainly not 'bargain basement' either. You won't get a bad service from me. I come highly recommended for starters.

I think I have it worked out pretty well actually - I do not enforce a minimum two hour charge - I'm not that big headed that I would think you would want to be with me for so long, and anyway, it cuts out some of the people who can't justify that amount of money.

I like my job. It is apparent that I do, and if you are prepared to meet me at least half way, you will see that I do.

If you have a parlour type mentality then a visit to me is absolutely no good for either of us, because I won't get anything out of a meet where you simply want your cock to be serviced!
This is not to say I will massage your ego because I won't do that either! You will get me, not an act.

We are almost at the end of 2009, I am at home mostly now. I might be able to sneak out for the odd tryst, but family are around all the time, and the oven is beckoning me... :) This afternoon it will be the 'Nigella' Chocolate fruit cake...yum!

If you want to see me in 2010, I will be happy to accommodate. I will make you welcome, and I will also combine the delights of the bedroom with some chill time over a glass or two of whatever you fancy, and be in no doubt that I will be 'Keeping it Real'.

Tonight

I went to see a long standing client. I wore a tiny little purple dress, with a tiny black jacket, stockings and suspenders and the highest sexiest girliest purple heels you ever did see. Heaven !

I have to say it, but I looked like the beez neez :)

Then it snowed.

Have you ever tried walking in snow with stilettos on, let alone drove a car in them??

Should've stuck to the UGG Boots :)

It's that time of year

I have to say a lot of thank yous to the people who have visited me this year. I have had some absolutely fab times,and one or two 'interesting encounters'..:)

It's not always plain sailing, but then life isn't either, and wouldn't it be boring if it were?

I also have some apologies to make to people I have had to let down because of family life. It's never good when this happens and I want you to know that I never do this lightly, nor do I dismiss anyone after the non-event.

I'm only human, and as such, I have faults. I have already made my New Year's Resolutions...
'must do better' 'must get there on time'

Once again I would like to say thanks, and hope to see you in the New Year - or perhaps even before Christmas since I am still about, but only sporadically.

Sometimes you make new friends, and sometimes those friendships dwindle and in some cases may even come to an end. Again, that is life.

To everyone, friends, old and new, and to those who have moved on, I raise a glass to you and wish you happiness and good health always. I am sure you all know who you are !

A Merry Christmas everyone!

Sarah x

Idiot conversations

Do you have them? We in this house are very good at this specialised form of human social interaction.

"You are Father Christmas"... "It's you"... "you are also the tooth fairy".. she looks at me accusingly.

"How did you know"

"I saw you".

"You never did"

"Mum, I watched you putting a £2 coin under my pillow"

"There weren't any £2 coins around when you were little, were there?..and anyway, I never gave as much as that"

"You did"

"When I was a child, I got 50p"


"It's your Santa hat as well....... the one you threw up into the tree when we were watching you do it"

"You were asleep in bed"

"We were at the window"

"You jingled bells on the landing" To my shame I have to admit to that one, and I thought I was being so good.

"You put a stocking on my bed"

"How long have you known this"?

Since I was about three..........

"You ate the Reindeers carrots"

"You are the Easter bunny as well"


By the way, she is eighteen :)

When I think of all the hard work I put into being a parent......

The irony of this is, you teach your children not to tell lies... don't you?

Yesterday I nearly became another statistic

We decided to make an effort and put up our outside lights this year. In the past we always had lights outside with a set over the front door, and another set in the tree at the front so Santa could see where to land :)

*I would just like to point out that this is not a photo of my house*......

One year he even lost his hat and we found it in the branches of the tree ! My children went along with this to please mum. They didn't want to burst my 'we've got the kids fooled' bubble so they pretended to believe it really was Santa's hat.

So, for your amusement, here is the fools guide to hanging Christmas lights outside your gaff.

Don't check the lights first to see if they work........ check
Make sure you have a dodgy stepladder to perch on....... check
Have an unhelpful family member close by in case you get into difficulties... check..
Wait until it is raining before you do it....................check
Always do jobs like this when the light is fading............ check



Anyways.. we plugged the lights in and they worked.(nothing worse than getting the lights pinned up and then switching on to find they are 'not with us anymore'..lol

My daughter then passed them out of the top window down to me. I tried to catch them before they hit the driveway using my hands..and a sweeping brush (why???) and then I began to hook them on my front porch gutter, with not much success.
We went for the step ladders and I gingerly got up them.
They have a wobble ..well have you ever had a step ladder that doesn't?
My daughter was supposed to be helping me. It was raining slightly and she stood next to the ladders with an umbrella holding sticky tape. ( I know how to hang lights)
Then she got hold of the ladders and deliberately wobbled them (as you do when your mother is looking like a prat) and I nearly fell off. I grabbed the roof of the bay window and hung on.

It sounds a lot worse than it was ........ we started laughing, and it was then that I nearly fell off.

Eventually I managed to drape the rest of the lights over the ivy, not without extra help - one of the cats had climbed up, and had joined in the shenanigans,by getting in the way and also playing with the flex - and secured the odd one or two with the sticky brown tape. You can't see any of this from the road - it's only when you get near that it looks like the Clampetts house.......:)

Last night I went out. When I came home those lights made my house look like the gingerbread house in the forest. I felt so pleased, you have no idea!

So, yesterday, I nearly entered the ranks of those poor unfortunates who spend Christmas in plaster casts, and all because they tried to hang a bit of cheer:0

The next time you are out in your car or on the bus, and you pass a house with lights on, please spare a thought for the poor bugger who braved the cold, the wind, and the rain, for your pleasure :)

Oh My God.. she's a prozzie

When I was seventeen, I started going out with a guy from the next town. Where I live is a small community really, or at least it was then. Everyone seemed to know everyone else's business, and wasted no time in telling you it. They delivered the gossip like it was some delicious morsel to be savoured.

When we went out in the local pubs, I knew nobody, but that soon altered because people are naturally nosey. After that, the gossip flowed thick and fast. You meet someone new on a boozy Friday night, and after that you are bosom buddies for ever........

One night we were standing in a pub talking to a guy who told me I looked just like his sister. He said she was really good looking. My boyfriend agreed with him. Since I did not know the sister in question, I just listened. We chatted to him for a while and then we left the pub and went elsewhere. It was then that my boyfriend told me the guy's sister was a well known prostitute.
He told me her name which was her own christian name, and then her brother's christian name instead of her real surname which happened to be one of those dreadful names you would not even use in polite company.

*picture the scene.. "what's your name" "XXXXXX XXXXXX".... "Oh I am sorry" :)

I was fascinated by this woman. I asked him questions about her. My boyfriend knew all about her, having grown up with her and her brother in the same town, but she was a lot older than them, so what he did not know, he gleaned from the local gossips and the rest I expect he embellished for my benefit.

He said he had seen her riding around in posh cars with older men. He said he once saw her in a Rolls Royce with a very old man. We looked at each other knowingly.. we didn't have a clue really!
Then one evening we saw her in a pub. She was with people, and he told me she was "over there". I looked across and saw this older woman with multi coloured hair. It was dyed in blocks similar to a chess board but in blonde and red, and was more stripey than blockey.

No-one had hair like this. I had never seen anything like it!

She did not look like me at all, so the brother had been talking crap.

Because she was a prostitute I was fascinated, and could not stop staring. After that I saw her regularly in the town centre.
Despite the fact everyone knew what she did, she always dressed immaculately and held her head high. She still has her hair dyed in that distinctive way to this day, and still has that enigmatic look upon her face.

I have to hand it to her. She was known as a prostitute and yet continued to live in a small community full of bigots and gossips and liars.

I never, ever saw anyone challenge her, nor shout abuse at her in the street. I also never saw her standing talking to people either. When you are the one they gossip about, who wants to gossip to you?


These days, I do not have much to do with any of those people any more, since I suspect a lot of them have discussed me. I go about my business much in the same way as she does, but I do not draw attention to myself by having a wacky hairstyle, and I wear conservative clothing when out shopping.
The difference between me and her, is that if you passed me in the street, you wouldn't think anything, but if you passed her, you would give her a second glance and perhaps a third.
Maybe she likes it that way? I don't know. I do not know if she still works either. When I was seventeen she was about thirty, so she still could be.

My opinion of her changed dramatically when I became a working girl. I like my job. I can't say that to anyone except my clients, and to myself - on here. I realise now what a groundbreaking thing she did back then; to have everyone know what she did, and not appear to care, takes an iron will and a special person to be able to carry it off.

When I see her these days, I look with respect. Why should people conform to what is expected by society if they are not doing anything wrong? She knows that. She knew it then, years ago, and I admire her for following a path and sticking to it.

Me? I'm just a little scaredy cat really!